Illuminati Bowling Team officials were at a loss to explain how a small Tennessee beagle destroyed the team’s entire archive of records for the 2010 fall season, but were standing by their story today.
The dog, a two-year-old brindled beagle named Junebug, apparently broke into the team’s clubhouse sometime after Monday night’s season opener, which the Illuminati lost 5-2 to Blackout on 4. He was found by the team’s janitor Wednesday morning, resting on a file folder that had once contained the the team's recent scoring records and league standing sheets.
Team scorekeeper Arnaud Laboiteux was able to recover the score sheet from Monday night’s games from a deposit the beagle had made in the corner of the office. Laboiteux said the document was “soiled, but mostly readable.”
Remarkably, the dog also apparently used the team’s laptop to delete all of the files containing The Illuminator’s reports on 2010 competition from Google’s Blogspot server.
“He’s a smart dog, that one,” Laboiteux said.
Junebug was reportedly being transported back to his home in Bristol, Tennessee, where he had escaped from the kennels of super-beagle breeder Malcolm J. Wilson on January 10.
The lines
The unofficial line score on Monday night’s games, reconstructed from the recovered document:
Michael Peitz—150, 118, 113: 381; avg 127 (new)
Jim Talkington—168, unknown*, 127: unknown; estimated avg 135 (new)
Steve Nelson—121, 124, 135: 380; avg 127 (new)
Don Corathers—147, 148, 152: 447; avg 149 (new)
*Score partially obscured by fecal matter
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
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