In a statement issued simultaneously in Rome, Chicago, and Norwood, Ohio Monday evening, Illuminator publisher John de Conqueroo said the paper's eight-month lapse in publication was "an oversight."
De Conqueroo apologized to subscribers, advertisers, and the Illuminator editorial staff, some of whom have been camped outside his Amalfi Coast hideaway since last May, awaiting instructions. The paper was last published in early May, and missed covering the Illuminati Bowling Team's entire fall season.
"We forgot," de Conqueroo said. "I've had this nagging feeling there was something I should be doing, but I just couldn't figure out what it was." The publisher said he was reminded of his responsibility to the paper by a pointed message in a fortune cookie he picked up at a Chinese restaurant in Scranton, Pennsylvania over the weekend.
"Funny thing was, it wasn't even my fortune cookie," he said.
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